That is me up there. Well, not literally me, but an image of me.
Seeking to diligently be apart of God's plan for humanity, rooted in love and through Christ, of redemption, renewal, reconciliation and restoration for ALL, so that all things may be united to Him, which breeds a true wholeness of peace, joy, comfort and yes, love.
Also seeking to wife up a cutie with a booty, ya know what I sayin'?!
(And with a love for Christ and a good heart, but like, the ability to twerk, too.)
This blog is a blend of theological explorations and silly, irreverent reblogs. I'm all over the place, y'all.
Love suffers long and never fails! (1 Corinthians 13:4&8, NKJV)
I’m always a little surprised when someone who isn’t one of my best friends willingly reaches out to start a conversation with me with no ulterior motive (like asking a favor, needing a question answered, etc). I don’t know what that says about my self-perception.
jk I totally know. Sometimes I think intentional social interaction makes me so nervous because I’ve been made to believe that I’m not worthy of it, and people are going to realize sooner or later that they don’t really want to talk to me.
Or that I’m scared I’m gonna fuck it up. There’s so much pressure. I’ve never been good with pressure. Pressure turns my best into a mess. And yes, I kind of did mean to rhyme that.
I’m gonna get better at this, though. I know I will. I already have, and I can keep on. There’s this power that’s inside of me that compensates for all of my weaknesses. And is changing me gradually, but genuinely - picking away the fear, the hurt, the vulnerability and replacing it with peace, comfort, wholeness, healing.
I believe in that power. I’ve seen that power at work, and I know what that power is capable of. What I’ve failed to realize before is that failure does not discount everything; a little hiccup doesn’t have to equate to complete relapse.
And all of this is a process. Nothing happens over night or over a few nights, but many, many nights. We just have to push through the ups and the downs with the ultimate goal in mind, knowing that it’s coming if we don’t lose hope.
So I won’t always be so alone. Even in the midst of doubts, I have to force myself to have faith in that, trusting in something so much bigger than me and the nature of He who is so much bigger than me. Knowing that this all isn’t just for myself, but fits into a much larger picture that will contribute to all things experiencing this renewing change away.
I believe in that. And if hope is synonymous with foolish, then I’d rather be ignorantly blissed because at least I smile and feel peace and comfort. At least I have purpose and direction, and I’d rather not live any other way than that.
I don’t think I’m a fool, though.
I think more people than I realize who know me in real life follow me on here.
But with your vague usernames and tiny little thumbnails, I can’t tell for sure! But every time a profile is like “20’s, so-cal”, I’m like…hmmm.
So reveal yourselves!! And maybe the next time I have a crush, I won’t write pathetic mumblings about her everyday because you secretive people probably actually will know her in real life too!
And that way, I can follow you back if I haven’t already (if I have, that means I know that I know you in real life and you don’t have to revel yourself, unless you just want to say hi).
Tired of being defined by your pre-assumed stereotypes based on the complexion of my skin. I do not like certain things nor know how to do certain things because of my skin’s coloring.
(Fried chicken makes me feel sick, watermelon is okay, I guess, and my mom wouldn’t even let me drink kool-aid growing up, so I’ve rarely had it. Yes, I can dance well enough, played basketball and have fair rapping abilities, but I don’t think that’s mutually exclusive to me, nor are those the only things within my realm of abilities - they’re not even the most notable.)
I did not grow up a certain way because of that factor either. The way I speak has no reflection on that.
(My father’s a doctor, my mom’s an accountant, and I grew up in a very fortunate, crime-free upper middle class environment and that privilege is what catered towards the proper manner in which I speak and behave. Upbringing and privilege, not race in anyway, is what contributes to these things, but unfortunately, due to a developed system that has continually oppressed minorities for centuries, certain people are less likely to experience this privilege. Not innately because of their race, but because of how people have historically treated their race.)
I am not to be judged in an entirely separate category because of it, as if I cannot be measured by the standards used on the “default coloring” because my skin tone makes me innately different and yes, by your reasoning, implicitly inferior.
(So you’re not flattering me when you tell me that I’m your “favorite black person”, as if I’m not good enough to be compared within the realm of your white friends. Lawful segregation may have ended, but it’s clear that a form of segregation does exist within the minds of others.)
I don’t believe color-blindness will solve anything, but I do believe there needs to be a much different way that we refer to our diverse ethnicities. We acknowledge they are there, and we recognize how a historical mistreatment of these distinctions have caused the race-related problems of today, but we should not define a person solely or even largely by something as ultimately superficial as pigmentation.
And it’s sickening that some people do not recognize the innate social privileges they have within the realm of Western society because of the color of their skin. They are allowed to make treat these stereotypes and assumptions as truth in a way that negatively affects the way of life of the people they’re aimed at. Then cry foul when a stereotype is used to define them, not realizing that those stereotypes very rarely (if at all) negatively affect they way they are seen in this world as far as being treated in a way that actually allows them to suitably survive.
So many of us desperately seek to see change in the way that this still flawed system treats people in regards to race, but as long as the power of an implied white supremacy and a very real white privilege is largely ignored, then very little is going to significantly happen. If everyone could just take on the ways of humility and empathy, trying to understand the things minorities have to go through in both little and big ways daily that majorities are largely unaffected by, then maybe the way we all treat each other would drastically change.
At the end of the day, I’m just sick of seeing the worth and value and dignity of certain people being downplayed in favor of esteeming another person’s worth as more just because of something entirely superficial. Can’t we all adopt an attitude of “counting others more significant than yourselves?” Do not downplay the very real struggles that others go through and especially do not deny the deeper reasons of why these people ended up more susceptible to such struggles (hint: systematic racism, for starters).
This was the result of an hour of reading accounts of microaggressions.
And to clarify for those who don’t know, this is coming from the prospective of a 24 year old black woman who was raised in the South (but now fortunately lives elsewhere).
When I look for “gay christian dating”
And Christian mingle is like:
And christianmatchmaker is like:
And I’m like:
Some faith, patience and hope go a long way.